Resilience is a word we often associate with bouncing back, but for me, it’s always been about something deeper: transformation. Resilience isn’t about avoiding pain or hardship but about navigating it with intention, courage, and grace. My journey has been one of profound growth, shaped by experiences of loss, reinvention, and the lessons that come from learning to move forward when life doesn’t go as planned.

Following the deaths of my stepfather, my father, and my mother all within a year, while also dealing with several years of long-COVID symptoms, my nervous system was in desperate need of a reset. This is what led me to Costa Rica, where I worked with horses at the Tula Vida Ranch in Guanacaste. There, Sally and Eric provide cutting-edge work, teaching people how to work with horses who have a natural and automatic ability to regulate their nervous systems, individually and as a herd—including with humans who become a part of the herd, even if only temporarily.

Grief has a way of stripping everything down to the essentials. It’s messy and unpredictable, and it doesn’t follow a linear path. But it’s also an incredible teacher. "I’ve learned that it’s important to give yourself the space, and the grace, to grieve everything that requires your grief — at your own pace, of course —especially anticipated futures that never came to pass." Whether it’s a relationship that ended, the passing of a loved one, or even a missed job opportunity, when a future you had planned for fails to turn out the way you had hoped, be sure to give yourself the space to experience the grief. This is a key component of resilience and allows us to move forward.

My time in Costa Rica also brought unexpected challenges. While living there, I faced one of the most difficult experiences of my life: a detached retina that required multiple surgeries. The fear of losing my sight was overwhelming, and I had to confront a deep sense of helplessness. But through that experience, I learned an invaluable lesson: sometimes, resilience is about letting go of how you think things should go in order to make room for new possibilities to arise.

I had to surrender to the uncertainty of the situation, trust the process, and allow myself to be vulnerable. That vulnerability became a source of strength, teaching me that it’s okay to ask for help, to be scared, "and not to have all the answers." It also reminded me of the importance of adaptability—the ability to shift perspective and embrace change, even when it feels impossible.

Resilience is a skill, but it’s also a mindset. It’s the ability to keep going, to rebuild, and to find beauty in the unexpected. And most importantly, it’s about embracing the full spectrum of life—the joy, the pain, the triumphs, and the losses—and allowing each experience to shape you into a stronger, more compassionate version of yourself.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: life rarely goes according to plan, but it always provides opportunities for growth. Give yourself the grace to grieve, the courage to adapt, and the strength to keep moving forward. Because in the end, resilience isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving, and for that it’s important to treat ourselves with the same empathy and compassion that we offer others.